TITLE: The Truth about the Chupacabra
WRITER: Alan Nafzger (firstname.lastname@example.org)
GENRE: Comedy, Fantasy, Social Criticism
PREMISE: Chaos in breaks out in Texas after a biology professor proves the chupacabra are not mangy coyotes, but extremely shy extra-terrestrial beings.
The Chupacabra Film Pitch
ACT ONE – the chupacabra exists
While experimenting with telepathic techniques, Texas Professor Vasquez manages to track and capture a chupacabra. On a trip to Mexico, he captures and imports a live chupacabra into Texas and houses it in top-secret university underground facilities. In secret, he attempts to communicate with it. This film will reveal the truth about the chupacabra.
The chupacabra escapes and inadvertently causes a car wreck that results in the death of a beloved former born-again law-and-order Governor (scandalously in a pickup with a topless dancer) which though witnessed only by a drunk sparks an epidemic of claimed sightings of the creature.
The government to avoid embarrassment rejects the drunks’ testimony but the media runs with it.
Because of the panic, the Governor of Texas orders the case be considered of utmost urgency by the Texas Rangers, only for it to be handed down to the bumbling and near-sighted inspector Alan Baker (Texas Ranger).
Mireia Izquierdo, a journalist and science writer of some fame, finds herself involved after returning from Peru, where she was researching a story about the mummified remains of the builders of Machu Picchu.
She wants to revive a mummy so she can prove the builders of Machu Picchu were extra-terrestrials. She needs the help of Professor Vasquez who shares the same theory and is a respected biologist. Her goal is to reveal the truth about the chupacabra.
Concurrently, Mireia Izquierdo has a sister, Ynez, who is comatose following an unfortunate hunting incident.
ACT TWO – the chupacabra hurdles
After a brief struggle with her nemesis, the conservative reporter Thomas Davidson, she retrieves the chupacabra shaped mummy and returns home with it. She plans, under the supervision of the professor, to compare the mummy’s DNA with that of the captured chupacabra.
Her mission is complicated further by Vasquez being in a Texas prison, having been charged with illegally importing the chupacabra from Mexico. Ironically, the professor crossed the border with the creature and 5,000 illegal Hondurans and nothing is done about that, but Vasquez faces 20 years for unlawfully importing an animal. Part of the Texas prison industry.
The chupacabra did not attack the former governor but simply found himself in the headlights of a speeding reckless driver, but the prosecutors portray the car accident as manslaughter and the professor faces another 10 years on top of the other charges. They tell the professor he must confess or face the entire 30 years in prison.
Remember this is Texas.
In court, the professor enrages a quick-tempered judge who decides to sentence him to death. Asked when the sentence will be carried out, the judge asks how long it takes to file an appeal. The answer from the defense lawyers is, “Monday.” So the execution is scheduled for the weekend. Immediately, before an appeal can be filed.
After the failure of Texas Ranger Baker and reality-tv hog hunter Jimmy Jo Briggs in taking down the “beast,” the governor offers the public a reward (dead or alive) for the Chupacabra. In the meanwhile, the creature is wrongly blamed on every murder, boating accident, and missing young girl across the very large state.
In reality, the chupacabra is held up hiding in Austin. The chupacabra is terrified of guns and violence. Professor Vasquez might be able to communicate with the creature and learn its secrets but the professor is locked in the Texas prison system.
Lupe Martinez, assistant to Professor Vasquez and researcher at the university is enamored with Mireia and takes over the professor’s work. He is able to lure the chupacabra out of hiding. Mireia, accompanies the chupacabra, and together they break the professor out of Texas prison.
ACT THREE – the chupacabra resolution
Briggs fatally shoots the chupacabra and kills it along with Vasquez, but not before Professor Vasquez is able to communicate with the chupacabra. The chupacabra reveals himself to be the flight engineer on a crashed UFO that was searching for ancient race of chupacabra. The space craft’s engineer is unable to help Mireia’s sister medically. He does, however, communicate where in Mexico Mireia and Lupe can find the rest of the crew living there, including a member of the chupacabra royal family.
Mireia and Lupe travel to Mexico and bring back the entire crew.
The chupacabra doctor uses their advanced medical techniques to cure Ynez. The truth about the chupacabra comes to light.
The chupacabra prince then decides he wants to see Austin, so the entire crew wanders out into the city, scaring every hapless Austinite yet again. Keep Austin weird.
The population of Austin love the chupacabra when they experience a tourism boom.
Mireia decides she needs a Cozumel vacation to relax. The final scene shows her boarding a plane with her new suiter, Lupe Martinez.
In a mid-credits scene, Lupe Martinez runs across Briggs who is hunting chupacabra in Mexico. Still outraged that Briggs shot the chupacabra he hunts the famous hog hunter. Before the professor can kill the Briggs, Mexican federal police arrested him for the attempted murder of various chupacabra. He’s taken directly to a Mexican prison and as two hardened outlaws stare menacingly at the white hunter.
After the credits there is a final scene: a tequila commercial. The chupacabra prince has signed a contaract to make television commercials and appear on the bottle labels.
Or, on the other hand, the director can put the commericial at the front of the film, followed by a polite reminder to turn off cell phones so the audience beleives it’s a bit strange but part of the theater’s advertising.